This Method Will Make You Tough Enough to Slim Down on Keto – If You Can Handle It

Toughen up to Deal With Weight Loss Pains, and Succeed With Your Target Weight.

If You Want the Rainbow, You Gotta Put up With the Rain. Dolly Parton

Many people contact me to share their fitness goals. “I want to lose 30 kilos!” “I want to have the energy to play with my kids!” “I want to look sexy in a bikini on the beach!”

That’s all well and good, and I love goal-setting. However, the emails most often miss a critical piece of information: The challenges that the person is willing to endure to achieve their goal. And without that willingness, you can see in the above cartoon what often ends up happening. No action, and no results.

So let me be straight with you: Weight loss journeys are PAINFUL, period. And they hurt on many levels!

Firstly, physically. The dreaded keto flu when your body adapts to burning fat can make you feel awful. And once you’re past that (unless you’ve already given up), you have to deal with the mental and emotional pains. Maybe you have an internal voice trying to make you self-sabotage, perhaps you’re suffering from compulsive overeating, or not feeling good enough…

So yes, it’s painful to get fit and healthy. And today’s society makes it very easy to choose comfort instead, by bingeing ice cream in front of Netflix.

But this blog post is for you crazy unicorns out there, ready to say YES to the weight loss journey’s torture. Yes, it’s going to be painful – but you’re willing to build the strength to deal with it. So that you can lose those 30 kilos, boost your energy, get into that sexy bikini, or whatever it is you want to achieve! Read on, and let’s get started.

Are You Willing to Go to Any Length?

My earliest memory of pushing through pain to achieve a goal is from my childhood in Sweden. I started selling newspapers when I was 12, and it was a pretty easy job – except in the winters when it could be -20 degrees and snowstorm. Then, it was excruciating to walk all over my country town with the snow blowing in my face.

I wanted nothing more than going home and curl up in front of the fireplace with a hot chocolate! But if I tried to sneak back before finishing my newspaper round, my parents always told me to get back out. “Just imagine how good you will feel when you’re done!” they said.

Perhaps you consider this approach child abuse, but I don’t. Because it taught me the important lesson of completing a task, no matter how challenging the conditions. I think that mindset has helped me overcome the many obstacles on my health journey.

But I’ve often fought the concept, wanting an easy shortcut (who doesn’t?). I remember when I quit drinking almost 12 years ago, and people in my support group asked me, “Are you willing to go to any length to stay sober?”

I thought the question was ridiculous. It’s not like I would kill someone for my sobriety! But now, I realize that I was the ridiculous one – why would I need to become a murderer to reach a health goal?

Today, I love the question. When I hesitate to take action towards a goal, I still ask myself: “Am I willing to go to any length to achieve this?”

My Painful Six Months of Not Having Sex 

But I haven’t always had the luxury of choice. I’ve simply had to deal with the pain of taking action no matter I wanted it or not – or I wouldn’t have survived. Desperation gives flexibility! Quitting drinking is one example, and ending toxic relationships is another. 

I’ve shared before about my history of abusive relationships. When I found myself in yet another toxic, maddening relationship a while ago, I finally got desperate enough to surrender completely.

I sought the help of a shaman, and I told him that I was ready to do whatever it took to end my relationship pattern. I was terrified. It felt like I was dying, but I’d never known anything other than chasing men who treated me like shit. The unknown was scary – and what I would need to do to sort myself out.

Long story short, that shaman healed me and changed my course of life forever. He also gave me homework: To succeed with my goal of healthy relationships, I had to be celibate for six months. I wasn’t even allowed to touch myself!

It might sound ridiculous, but to the person that I was then, I couldn’t have gotten a more challenging task. Six months of celibacy felt like six years in jail.

But thanks to my desperation, I knew that this was the only way. It was comforting to hand myself over to someone who knew better than me. I was exhausted from many years of trying to figure out how to deal with men, only to fail over and over again. I clearly had no clue about what I was doing on this subject, and I needed guidance.

No Pain, No Gain

I’m pleased to share that I completed my six months of celibacy. It was one of the most painful things that I’ve ever done in terms of mental and emotional pain! But also one of the very best things. 

Because when I completed those six months, I had transformed into another person. A person who wasn’t taking any more shit. Funnily, I had thought that celibacy meant “missing out” – but after six months of no sex, I had a totally different perspective. That night with the shaman, I had begged him, “Please promise me that if I do this, I will find love!” And now six months later, I didn’t even care if I’d ever meet someone.

And that’s the irony of the “pains” of a health journey. We freak out about the “painful” methods (celibacy, a diet, exercise…) to achieve our goals. But we don’t consider how excruciatingly painful it is NOT to get healthy!

The heartbreak that I suffered during my years of unhealthy relationships was killing me. The celibacy method to end that pain was painful too, but afterward, I was a free woman. Knowing that I could deal with the pain of the tough celibacy task, I felt like I could take on anything!

It’s like the great philosopher Dolly Parton said: “If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”

My Rainbow After a Night of Vomiting

Dolly is so right. I even have proof! The following photo is of me the morning after an ayahuasca ceremony. If you’re new to this healing method, here is a quick overview of what can happen: vomiting, shitting, crying, screaming. It’s definitely like dealing with a bit of “rain,” to say the least!


I do these ceremonies not because I love torture, but because I love how they help me improve myself. After this particular ceremony, there was literally a rainbow waiting for me on the other side!

So are you ready to deal with a bit of rain on your keto journey, for the sweet reward of a rainbow? Then take the following steps!

How to Adopt a Pain-Conquering Mindset on Your Keto Journey:

1. Acceptance

Accept that pain is part of any health journey.

2. Acknowledgment

Acknowledge that those who are fit are so because they’ve dealt with the pain.

3. Trust

Trust that also you will achieve your fitness goals if you embrace the pain and continue taking the right action!

How to Conquer Pain on Your Keto Journey:

1. Do Something Challenging Every Day

Fast, sleep on the floor, give more away to charity than you think you can afford, take an ice bath… It will make you strong!

2. Use The 5-Second Rule

When tempted to let pain stop you, count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… Then just TAKE ACTION.

3. Study the Science of Becoming Gritty

Learn how to toughen up in grittiness expert Angela Duckworth’s book Grit.


My parents were right about the snowstorms. It does feel amazing after checking off a challenge. I hope you will use this guide to experience the same!

Now I’ve shared about my health journey pains, and I’d love to hear about yours too. What pains are your current health and weight situation causing you? Share it with me!

Alexia Bjarkan
Keto Coach

Alexia Bjarkan
alexia@thebenefactory.com

Keto Coach at The Benefactory.

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