Can You Handle a Broken Heart or Will You Swipe on Tinder?

Focus Your Attention on What You Do Want in Your Life.

All That We Are Is a Result of What We Have Thought. Buddha

I recently had my heart broken – again. As per usual, I was devastated, thinking my life was over and that I’ll never find love.

Luckily, I was reading the classic Law of Attraction book Ask and It Is Given. I had just started a virtual book club with some friends, in an attempt to hold myself accountable to reading instead of obsessing through yet another Netflix series. Ask and It Is Given was our first book – a book that I’ve been aware of for years and known that I can benefit from, and now my book club finally made me read it.

A key concept in Ask and It Is Given is that to achieve what we want, we must focus our attention on this very thing – not what we don’t want. This idea rang true to me: I want love, but surely I will not find it if I keep obsessing over the guy who dumped me!

Thus, the suggestion of shifting attention prompted me to find a new man on Tinder. Because when I do something, I like to be classy.

I started swiping as if there was no tomorrow and began texting with a couple of guys. Long story short, I didn’t exactly find the love of my life. Wise people might say that my strategy is unhelpful since it’s about distracting myself.

But if a distraction helps me feel better for the moment (while I’m working on making better decisions for my relationships), I think that’s a great thing. Because the texting made me forget about my heartbreak for the day, it gave me a little hope, and I managed to move on with my life!

Needing a Straight Jacket in the Grocery Store

My Tinder experience made me think about how the method of changing focus can help when establishing healthy eating. I used to struggle with sugar addiction, with my full attention on quitting sugar. 

Now, I realize how I was making the situation difficult for myself! I remember walking through grocery stores feeling like a madwoman needing a straight jacket and blinders to be able to resist all of the foods that I told myself I wasn’t allowed. The mind games that I was playing were often too exhausting in the end, leading me to fall back into my binge eating.

Are you familiar with this pattern of struggling to control yourself? What about stopping forcing it and instead shifting your focus on the eating that you do want? That is; healthy, delicious food that you’ll enjoy and that will make you feel good!

Because trust me: You don’t have to be sad about giving up sugar and junk food. It’s just about finding alternatives that work for you – and there are plenty. Here are a few suggestions on how to direct your attention to foods that will make you thrive!

Ways to Focus on Healthy Eating:

1. Learn New Recipes

Exploring cooking can be especially useful if you’re not a cooking pro since you’ll need all your attention on making your dish. Bulletproof: The Cookbook is a great recipe source.

2. Enjoy a Healthy Dessert

The only way to realize that you’re not missing out! 

3. Imagine the Result of Your Healthy Eating

What will you look like? Feel like? Get excited!


Today, my sugar addiction is long gone thanks to the keto diet. I enjoy tasty meals and desserts without sugar and toxins, and my body and mind feel great as a result. No straight jacket needed for the grocery store.

Now, your turn. Are you struggling with focusing on healthy eating, just like I used to? Share it with me!

Alexia Bjarkan
Keto Coach

Alexia Bjarkan
alexia@thebenefactory.com

Keto Coach at The Benefactory.

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